Hiccup and Astrid's Most Wonderful Fanfic
by TheSenjuMan
Summary: Modern AU. Hiccup and Astrid are fed up with bad fanfics and, as a joke, make their own bad fanfic. Oneshot!


**AN:** **Enjoy this wonderful parody of many angsty stories out there.**

It was a Saturday night, and Hiccup decided to spend the night over Astrid's house. Her parents were okay with it, just as long as they didn't get too carried away.

Right now, Hiccup and Astrid were surfing the web, reading various fanfics. There were some good ones, but the ones they came across were absolutely horrid, especially that 'Taco Bell' one.

"Uggghhhhh, why is there so many crappy stories?" Astrid asked, frustrated.

Hiccup sighed. "I don't know Astrid, but you are right! Goodness freakin' gracious, it's like an eyesore. To my eyes!"

"Dude, that was so redundant."

"Wow Astrid, I'm surprised you know what that means."

Astrid proceeded to punch her friend on the arm. "That's for thinking I'm stupid." She then grabbed Hiccup and planted one on him. "And that's for being an awesome boyfriend."

Hiccup blushed red and looked sheepishly at his blonde girlfriend. "Oh, um, hehe thanks I guess."

They contined to scout through the web for more good fanfics, but unfortunately, it was all for naught. Then, an idea came to the blonde's head.

"Hiccup?"

"Yeah?"

"I've got an idea."

"Ok, lay it on me girlfriend!"

"Don't ever say that again." She grew a mischievous grin on her face. "What if we made our own bad fanfic?"

Hiccup's eyes bulged out comically. "What?!" he shouted. "Wouldn't that make us as bad as these other jerk-offs?"

"Not really, we know we have good writing, but as a joke."

Hiccup caught on to the idea. "Ohhhh, I get it," he said with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah! What should we do it on?" asked Astrid.

"Hmmm...oooh! How about those poorly made angst fanfics?"

"Perfect." And with that comes Hiccup and Astrid's attempt at writing a bad fanfiction.

* * *

_It wuz a fine day in da vilag of Birk. Evryne wuz so hapy, exsept fr 1 purson. Dat pursn wuz Hiccup Hurrendus Haddick da III. Everne in da villag wuz alwys men to him; it wusnt hs falt he wus borned that way. Hiccup wus currently in da forest, with an angsty lok uv angst on hs fase._

_"Why no one laks meee? What I do to u? Shit!" he sobed, tears sexily runnin don hs bootyful fase. Hicup wus wearing hs normle tuunik but it wuz blakk instd uv da normle GREEEEEEN, hiz hare was alzo pitch blak, and he had red nale polishhe. He tuk ot a dager and he cut hisself. He pot on sum Evunescince. Sudenlly, Astid came to mak fun uv him cuz she's sadisstik lahk dat. She smrked._

_"Hey loozer, stil wining lik a litl btch?" she assked meenlie. Hicup scoled wisely at hr._

_"U R a bitch Asstriid, Y doent u bovver sum1 ur oen size fr unce! Jst leve mee alune!" Hicup shooted. He ranz away and continued to cut hsself deply. Aastridd wuz so shoked; dere wus sooooo muc blod runin down hiz rists. She got wet._

_"Gos emu guyz r so fukin hot!" sh sayd ot lud. Hicup wuz werded out by dis._

_"No un loovez me! Y?! U R terin me aprt vilage of Brk! Wahhhhhh!" Astid was still trned on by dis._

_But den sudenly...se jumed up and sarted fuking Hccup! He wuz cryin da hol tim. He wuz bein penetrated su badly dat he suun got turned on and stared fuccin her bak. He wshed for dis fr a loooooonggggg wile._

_"U r so fukin kawii btch!" Hiccup said meanly._

_"Danks Hiccu, u r so fukin atraktiv!" Strid said sadly. Dey walkd bak to Burk al hapy n shit. Dat idot Sntlot was fukin jelowse cuz hez a cazual. He came wid a meen luk on hz urgly fase._

_"U suck hiccup, I wuz goinna gette Astriddd! Wahhh!" He tok ut a dager n kild hisself. Hicp and Asrid shruged an walkd way! Dey wur so happy._

_Dey sun reched hiccup's houz. Hicup saa hiz dad cutin hzzelf. He bled an dyed._

_"Hahahah" hiccuo laffed. Asid laffed too. They went to hiccups room and ATRID SUKKD HZ KOK. He loved it!_

_Da next day, Toothl;ess wuz salkng hiccun cuz he wus jelouuussss! He wuz so angry. He wauz soooo mad. He got angy and curnrd Asid. She peed herslf._

_"Ewww" Tooflezz sed._

_"Naw i ned nuu panz" Astrid winned._

_Den hiccuo shooed da Nite Furry away; he wuz so sad he sturted cryin._

_"Astrd, u ok?"_

_"Yah. U lok fukin shmexah muderfuccer" they started haffin shmexy shmex. They came. It feld so gud. Den hiccupz dad wuz anry._

_"Hiccuo, wut r u daing?" he waz infurrited. Ot uv nowere, doktor hoo shoed up._

_"hiccup cum wid me u simplton!"_

_"Bt im fukin Astid!"_

_"No hikkupp, u hav to go! ill staee n masticate!"_

_"Ok"_

_Den hikp ciled dokor hoo. He died._

_"yay! now i can fuk asid sumore!" den godzila cum ot of nwwher. Tooflezsz killd him. He den at hm. he wzz suu hapie!_

_A fuu monthz later_

_hikp and ASTID WZ GEINN MURIED TOOOODAY! EVYON WUZ celbratin wiz alkahol! They kised and fuked sommore._

_DA END MUDDERFOKAZ!_

_AN: Flam dis stry al u wnt ok, but i aint surendrin to noone beiatchiz! u rock buyz n gurlz!_

Hiccup and Astrid were laughing their asses off! They could not believe what they came up with!

"S-should we post it?" Astrid asked between bouts of laughter.

"We should-we should totally do that!" Hiccup replied. Still snickering, the boyfriend/girlfriend duo clicked the 'POST' button.

"Oh my God, I can't believe we did that," Astrid said.

"Me neither," replied her brown-haired boyfriend.

"Just wait until they find this little masterpiece," Astrid suggested slyly.

"Best fanfic ever!" they said in unison.


End file.
